Devon: September

Ready for battle!

Devon loves flashlights, laser fingers and anything shiny. But seriously, who doesn't?

He loves to play ball, catch, soccer, just not in any official capacity. I think he's over playing on a soccer team.

.Smile!

What?

Pictures taken by Devon.

Devon's daddy caught a hawk moth and did a science experiment to feed it honey. It has a tongue about the length of it's body and it will eat honey off the Q-tip.

Protect yourself, grandma!

Kitty the tortoise is a sweet pet to be sure. The kids feed her strawberries and tomatoes and love to pet her neck.

Sweet boy.

Doesn't like to get dirty while he paints. Apron please!

I LOVE this picture. Just hanging with daddy on the bed.

Daddy had a birthday this month and Devon helped me to the lettering on the banner I made. The "B" is my favorite.

Devon caught a moth in the yard and would not stop making this face.

Devon has always been such a good shopper, but for some reason he started to cry and putting him on my shoulders was the only way to get him to stop. Whatever works!

Sigh. 

I can't convey how much I love this man and this little boy. 

On our trip to Mt. Lemon we caught several horny toads and explored the woods.

Devon got to help me make the cake for his 4th birthday. It was blue.

Very, very blue.

Donuts for the BIG 4th birthday breakfast!

Chucky Cheese for lunch with the grandparents, pizza, games and "surprises" (some prizes).

Super hero decorations complete with a spider web.

My Spiderman cake didn't turn out quite like I hoped, but I was overly ambitious as always. Still, I thought it was alright, he got to help me make it and he loved it so that's all that matters. Happy birthday little guy!

Audrey: September

Oh this silly little girl has so much personality!

She loves to play super heroes with Devon and loves to get dirty.

But she also loves her mama and snuggles me all the time. She doesn't really want anyone to hold her except me, which has been a bit tough since she has grown and grown and it quite heavy.

We took the kids up to Mt. Lemon and they had a great time. The weather was beautiful and they got to tromp around in the ferns, collect pine cones and see the wildlife.

My little girl ... with an edge :)

Audrey loves to go to the park and is very brave. She has been independent from the beginning and that doesn't seem to be changing.

Sometimes she looks like such a baby, but in this picture she might as well be 14. I think it's the bangs. It's official ... she's growing them out.

Man oh man Audrey loves her snacks. She will take a stool to the pantry and help herself. She loves to eat pretzels, pears, oranges, carrots and toast.

My sweet dolly covered in mud. Such a beauty!

Her giggle is the kind of giggle that makes you giggle.

Fell and got an owie, but a kiss from mama makes it all better.

Investigating treasures from the yard.

Quite the artist.

We still visit my parents once a week and Audrey loves to visit the garden to see the tortoise, Kitty, and sit with her grandpa.

With quite the sophisticated palette, she demolishes grandmas pomegranates picked fresh from the tree

.Jumping into the foam pit at gymnastics has never been so fashionable.

Waiting ...

This was my fat and happy Sam 4 Christmas' ago. All 20 pounds of him.

This is my sad, thin kitty today. 12 years old. Clinging to 9 pounds. He actually doesn't look this bad. Just a bad angle:) So, I took my sweet cat to the vet today. 

He has been peeing on everything. Towels, clothes ... if it lands on the floor or the counter you can safely assume that he has unceremoniously urinated on it. It is getting a little tedious, and quite frankly, I can't keep up with all the laundry. He no longer uses his litter box anymore and other than peeing on "stuff" he goes in the hall shower. It constantly smells of bleach. (I know, it's gross ... but amazing :) It has a shadow and it's vertical!

I'm not complaining, really I'm not. I know he's old and sick and can't help it. I guess being upset about it is me transferring my feelings about him dying to something I can handle. Like ... poop in the shower. I can handle poop in the shower, but thinking of Sampson dying breaks my heart.

I took him to the vet today to see if he had a bladder infection or something that might need for him to be on medication that would stop all the peeing. He eats and drinks constantly. Constantly. A scrap of food on a plate or a cup of water on the counter (or the toilet seat up) he will indulge. 

They did some tests and confirmed that he does in fact have cancer, a large tumor in his throat (that is sadly quite visible) and newly diagnosed diabetes. Ugh.

Shit.

The diabetes is giving him all the bladder problems, but medicating him (which I wouldn't do ... 2 shots a day is no life for a cat) actually makes his cancer worse anyway. There are no good scenarios. Ultimately, she said that he will get more and more lethargic, but once he starts vomiting he will be in crisis and should be put down. Ideally, before the vomiting starts. His decline will be "terrible". She said he has about a month. A month would be generous. As we were leaving the vet, the nurse came out to the parking lot to offer us some diabetes cat food. As she went back into the office, Devon called out,"Hey! Thanks for taking such good care of Sam!" in his big guy voice. She was visibly touched and said,"You're welcome."

I am so sad that my sweet Sammy Sam will not have a death fitting of his life. Not that we get a choice, but still ... there are good deaths and bad deaths. Having to decide to put down my friend, my baby-before-I-had-babies has me in knots. I feel like I am just waiting for him to die. Rather, waiting for him to decline "enough". I miss him already. 

Fuck.