1 month: Devon (October)

I can't believe that little Devon is 4 weeks old today. He is so big! I mean he's still really little, but so big compared to when he was born. He totally has his own personality and is a pretty chilled out kid. That's what Joe calls him .... "the kid". He is getting better at navigating his head and is figuring out how to work his hands and feet. He is definitely taking more of an interest in faces and objects so it is cute to see him look so thoughtful.

He is going through an "I want to he held all the time" phase which I have to admit I am sort of enjoying. I know that there will be a day so soon that he won't let me hold him at all so I am relishing this time to snuggle. Sometimes it is a little inconvenient to hold him such as when I am trying to make dinner or do laundry so I went online and ordered a baby sling so I can be more hands free if I need to be. I know that he can't be held all the time (and it's probably not good to do that all the time anyway), but it is nice when I know he needs the comfort to be able to have the sling to make it easier.

Joe has been really great about coming home during the day so I can go to the gym. Sidebar: Joe and I LOVE to watch MMA fighting (that's mixed martial arts fighting or the UFC cage fighting). Most fighters get a nickname or a fighting name that is the first name, the nickname, and then their last name. It is announced when they come out to fight. So I come home from the gym and Joe starts to hand me Devon and he says," And in this corner it's Devon "Don't put me down" Smith!" "Devon "Don't let my feet touch the ground" Smith!" "Devon "Hold me all day long" Smith!" There are more, but you get the idea. Funny Daddy.

I know I did it totally last minute, but I ordered a Halloween costume today for Baby D that if it arrives on time will be THE FUNNIEST costume of all time! I need to get a back up just in case, but I hope to be able to post pictures of a truly hilarious 1st Halloween costume.

Finally, I know it is cheesy, but I thought it would be cool to write Devon a letter about his first month of life, sealed in an envelope to give to him when he's older. Details about his birth, my hopes for him for the future, and all that other mushy stuff. I figure I'll give it to him when he graduates high school or gets married or something. I think that this time when he is little is such a special bonding time that he won't even remember so I want him to at least be able to read about what happened and know that his Mama covered him in kisses everyday ;)

3 weeks

Baby Devon is now 3 weeks old and we are getting into a routine .... meaning he cries and I change him, feed him, snuggle him or hand him off to Daddy. It's funny how you have all these fears before they are born like "How will I know when he's hungry?" "How will I know what to do?" "Will I even like being a Mom?" and then they're born and it seems ridiculous that you had these fears in the first place and that instinct just kicks in. I often worried since he can't speak that I would have a hard time knowing what he wanted and yet I can have deep, intellectual conversations with my cats and know exactly what they need. I am learning his cries for food, for snuggling and for "I'm fine. I'm crying, but I'm fine". I can remember my life before he was born and it was a great life, but there is so much more love in the house with him here.

I taught my first yoga class since giving birth and it felt so different. One of my students even said that I seem different. I am! Having a baby really changes you. It has only been 3 weeks, but I felt reasonably ready to go back. Maybe it's because he is still new to me and I'm getting used to everything or maybe I am permanently different ... who knows. I felt a little off my game to be honest. I was physically in the room, but I was so distracted it was maddening. I know it will come back to me, but it will take a little time. I am surprised at how much I enjoy being a Mom. It is such a total, complete shift in every facet of my life from my diet, to my sleep to what I wear, but I love taking care of Devon and miss him when he's sleeping.

Introducing ....

Devon Joseph Smith

Born September 30th

7:33 am

7 lbs 2.4 oz
20 inches long

He has arrived! He was 2 weeks early, but we were ready for him. I was in labor nearly 12 hours making for a very long night. My water broke while I was asleep (Monday) so when I got up I wasn't sure what had happened. I went about my day cleaning, getting a massage, and going to the grocery store to get food for dinner. I called my doctor around 3:00 because there was a lot of "fluid" and she suggested I got to the hospital just to be safe. I thought, "Yeah right. There is no way I was going to go into labor today. I still have 2 weeks." So I grabbed my hospital bag (just in case) and went to the emergency room. The nurse checked me out and sure enough .... my water broke. I said to her, "You've GOT to be kidding?!?!" I even asked her if I could go home and come back when I was feeling contractions and she didn't even answer me she just laughed.

I was admitted and called Joe. Having to tell your husband that you are going into labor and he needs to get to the hospital because we are going to have a baby soon is one of many surreal experiences. He arrived and the "hurry up and wait" game began.

Even though my water broke early in the morning, by 8:00 pm I still wasn't having strong contractions so they put me on Pitocin. My contractions went from painless and somewhat sporadic to immediately painful and 4 minutes apart. I dilated from 1 to 9 cm about 4 hours. There wasn't a gradual buildup of pain it just hurt .... a lot. I wasn't sure that I wanted an epidural so I had them give me some morphine. All that did was make the room spin. I went into the birth experience ambivalent about an epidural ..... if I wanted one I would get it and if I didn't I would skip it. At 9:30 pm they told me to expect to be in labor until noon the following day. I got the epidural ;)

A few hours later my nurse noticed that the baby's heart rate was irregular. I had to turn from one side to the other to try and figure out what was causing it to be irregular and to figure out a way to normalize it. I started with one nurse in the room to suddenly a mix of 5 doctors and nurses with anxious looks on their faces. If the the heart rate did not rebound within an hour I would have to have a C-section. Long story short his heart rate normalized, everything was OK as far as they could tell, and it was time to push!

I literally pushed for 2 contractions and he came out! The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck explaining the heart rate problems earlier. I didn't see his face right away, but I did see his tiny little hands with all his tiny little fingers up in the air. They cleaned him off and handed him to Joe who, though eager to help, has very little experience with babies. Holding the baby out in front on him like a football he said, "What do I do with it?" He sat and held him while the doctor finished up with me. Again, another surreal experience ..... watching my husband, my high school sweetheart, my best friend hold our baby for the first time.

I stayed at the hospital for 2 says following the delivery. By the last day I was more than ready to leave. Joe even mentioned that he wanted us to come home so we could start our lives as a family. We've been home a few days now and it has been great. Not without its problems, but a very sweet experience. Believe it or not the little man slept for 3-4 hours at a time through the night so I only had to get up 3 times. I almost wanted him to cry so I could go in and hold him. He is just the sweetest baby I have ever seen.

He is a dream come true.