Couldn't help myself

There is a phenomena that occurs when people are in groups and a "crisis" happens. A crisis could be a vast and wide array of events so I use the word crisis very loosely. It could be a murder, watching someone hit a parked car and leaving the scene or an argument. It is called "the bystander effect" or the "Genovese syndrome" (sounds like jen-o-veece). It basically means that people assume that someone else will "take care of it" (ie: call police, help them, etc) so everyone who viewed the event essentially does nothing. It was named after Kitty Genovese, a woman who was stabbed, raped and murdered in a hallway of her apartment building. As she was being attacked a woman shouted to the attacker,"Leave her alone!" but didn't call police and went back into her apartment. He left her in the hallway to die only to return 30 minutes later to stab her repeatedly, rape her again and take $49 from her wallet. A few minutes after the 2nd attack someone called police, but she died a short time later. Approximately 38 people in her building heard the attack, but took no action.

The only reason I shared the Genovese story is to let you know where the syndrome comes from. Despite what we may think about our individual character, the majority of us are MORE likely to do nothing if other people in the group do nothing as well. What I'm saying is if you think something wrong is happening YOU have to take it upon your self to do something about it. Don't assume that someone else will. Don't worry what others will think of you because when you're doing the right thing that doesn't matter anyway.

So .... I went to a movie last night with some girlfriends. It was with Gerard Butler and Jamie Fox. It was called, "Law abiding citizen." In spite of how I describe it it was actually a good movie. It is rated R, however, and is very graphic. There is a brutal home invasion, stabbing, execution .... there is a lot of violence and there are F-bombs. It is pretty graphic to say the least and one scene left me feeling a little queasy watching my LITERAL worst nightmare play out on screen. I know I said that I liked the movie in spite of all the bad stuff I just mentioned, but it was one of those movies that you couldn't figure out what was going to happen so in that way ... I liked it.

About 15 minutes into the movie, out of the corner of my eye, I see a mother, her 2 year old daughter, her 4 year old son and 6 year old son get up and leave. What the WHAT!!!??? WHY were they in that movie in the first place? They left the theater so I was just glad for that.

They returned a few minutes later apparently back from a bathroom break.

My friend sitting with me was equally appalled, but it didn't seem to bother anyone else. Why wasn't anyone politely (or flat out yelling at her) to take her children out? Why did they sell her tickets in the first place? There weren't any children's movies playing so they couldn't have bought tickets and then gone into the R rated one. I just didn't get it.

They settled into their seats just in time for a very graphic stabbing attack. I was sick. My face was hot and I. Was. Furious. I am definitely not one of those "this-is-how-you-raise-your-children" parents. I have my opinions and will offer them if the parent asks me, but generally keep them to myself. We can't do everything right all the time. We all make mistakes and take missteps as parents. I get that. But taking your 2, 4 and 6 year olds to a violent R rated movie just seems an obvious thing to NOT do.

I got up, found a manager and described the situation.

SIDEBAR: Apparently after 6:00 they do not allow children under 12 in rated R movies. WHY that rule only holds after 6:00 is beyond me. Like the time of day should make a difference.

I told her that I was not trying to be a bitch, but now that she had the information she could do with it what she would.

I was so proud of her because she followed me into the theater and promptly escorted them out. She also saw yet ANOTHER family of 3 equally small children sitting near by and escorted them out as well.

I know that it will probably not change this woman's mind that subjecting her children to this kind of thing is not healthy. And God knows what they see at home, but at least they will think twice about dragging their little ones to a movie at that theater in the future.